Don’t get me wrong I love being a mum. My 3 little people make my day. I learn so much from them and I learn so much about myself just caring for them and attending to their daily needs. Herein lies the problem. When I am at home looking after my offspring they slowly creep on. I don’t know the exact moment but I noticed them the other day. I then thought back and realized it happened for my 2nd child and then Im almost certain it must have happened with my 1st child but hey when its your first they’re probably on from the moment of conception!
What are they you may ask – the blinkers! The picture in my minds eye is me with those horse blinkers attached – only able to focus what is in front of me – no peripheral vision or other outside issues.
I find when Im on maternity leave that I get to a point where all im worrying about is whats for dinner on the table that night, how my child went at the maternal and child health nurse, has homework been done, what medical problem is on my agenda to deal with, when does this form have to be put in for this child or that child….the list goes on. I find that at least when Im working these issues don’t take as much weight and flow in and out of my brain. But no, when Im at home I think about it this way, then I think about it that way and then hang on a minute is there an alternative?
Reflecting I think I can even compare myself to a dog with a bone on some issues – who cares if the tradesman traipsed some dirt into the house, who cares where the heating unit control is as long as it works, what difference does it make if the toys aren’t in the specific labeled boxes or the postman came after lunch when I wanted to check it before lunch! This is what happens when I am not working or more the point when I am on maternity leave. Um think theres a saying that might fit here Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff but what else is there to focus on?
So am I the only one with this blinker problem? Soon Im sure my mother will be lining up to place me in a race to see if she can make some money off this blinkered horse! Neigh Neigh….Share your experiences with me!