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Identity, New Beginnings, Psychology

But its who I am………..

I am struggling at the moment.  First world problem. Nothing devastating but something that is making me uncomfortable.

How do you identify yourself? Your occupation; your role as a mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter, grandmother or grandfather; your hobby; or your likes and dislikes?

You see I am a psychologist and I am mighty proud of that fact.  It suits my personality. Some days I even find it hard to distinguish between what is my personality and what is the “psychologist” they have merged that much.

The reason I am now struggling, well to be honest its been a few years, probably since the birth of my second child.  I have realised that I just dont have the emotional energy to do both mothering and psychology concurrently to the best of my ability as unfortunately I feel like I’m doing both half-arsed (technical term).  Herein lies the problem. What do I do?  Sure I’d love to be a stay at home mum but that money tree doesn’t seem to be growing out the back and those numbers havent come up in tattslotto (would help if I put in for tatts then we may have a chance to win)  But seriously, I see alot of inspirational women who are able to combine  both – being work at home mums. The problem is I can’t seem to find something that I can do from home with my qualifications that keep me as interested as psych does.  I really like problems and helping people work their way through them and helping them find their own answers. Actually, I think I am good at it too. (Dont mind me blowing my own trumpet). But holding the space for someone to do this is the emotionally taxing part.

Really though I don’t need to ask the question – what do I do as I know what I want to do.  It is the other issue that I touched upon before: who am I?  Who would I be? A piece of me would be missing if I didn’t call myself a psychologist. I truly like that part of me. I think sometimes it describes alot of me too.

What do people say when they are onto their second career? Does their previous career get removed or forgotten about? There is so many skills that your occupation provides you with and then it would be like it is irrelevant. A worry I think about is that I may have a discussion in 5 years time and people may think well who are you to be qualified to be speaking on such a topic – but over 10 years experience and an intense experience at that will never be forgotten and made me the person I am today.

I’d really like to hear from you. Have you changed what you do? Were you someone else in a “past life”? How do you identify yourself?  Is there a part of yourself that you like to identify yourself as?

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About Bringing Spirit Into The Everyday

Modern Suburban Hippie (minus hallucinogens :) ) Vegetarian. Passionate. Love Laughs. Yoga. Chai Lattes. Crystals. Oracle cards. Goddesses. Angels. Spiritual. Perfume Loving. Intuitive Parenting. Breastfeeding Mama. Sport Loving. Opinionated. Scorpio. Psychologist. I have 3 little people who rock my world.

Discussion

7 thoughts on “But its who I am………..

  1. This is something I think about often. It smashed me in the face when I was briefly unemployed after being retrenched a couple of years ago. I struggled to look my daughter in the eye until I was employed again for it is my duty as her father to provide for her, to state the obvious. I am a printer, a bloody good one I don’t mind saying, and just like you, a piece of me would be missing if I wasn’t. As you’re aware, I’ve entertained other career options, but my trade (and yes, I’ll admit the money I get paid to do what I do plays a part, not huge, but a part nonetheless) keeps pulling me back. Some printers lose their shit when their machine breaks down; I love it. I love rolling my sleeves up, pulling units of my press apart, putting it back together & getting it going again. I get as much satisfaction from that as I do setting the thing up & have it run for 10 hours as I sit there on my arse, feet on the table whilst letting the apprentice do all the work.
    Also, rightly or wrongly, I could never do the stay-at-home-dad thing. I have a mate who does & I admire him for it, but it’s not for me. I’d be lost. I do identify with my work in a big way. It could be argued that I do so a little too much, but oh well, that’s me.

    I could go on forever but I’ll stop now.

    I’m sure whatever decision you make will be the right one; you’re too smart not to make the right one.

    Posted by Troy Dunne | September 23, 2010, 12:17 pm
  2. Sometimes you need to travel a varied path and often it brings you back to where you started. It has taken my over 20 years but I have suddenly (without any planning) come back to where I first started and the various jobs along the way have all added to my life experiences.
    Perhaps try not to put just one label on yourself. Mum, daughter, Psychologist, sister, friend etc… they are all components of a whole. Psychologist will always be there, waiting. And you will be richer for the knowledge gained along the way.
    You are most fortunate to know what it is in life you enjoy doing. Many never find this. My husband often remarks “Christine still doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up.”
    It sounds like you know what you are going to do. And I am confident it was a well thought out process. I always tell my children, you go through one door and a hundred new doors are suddenly in front of you. We are all so fortunate.

    Posted by Christine Giarrusso | September 28, 2010, 8:35 am
  3. When you pick up the gorgeous little bundle and say “congratulations, you’re a mum!” they should also add “farewell to your old identity!” I’m not sure there what happens to your old self – I miss her at times but I love the person that having children has helped me become. She was certainly more spontaneous, not nearly as tired and not quite as sober! So if someone asks, who am I? What defines me now? For the better part of ten years I was a teacher – like you, a role I was proud of. At the minute though, whilst wrangling two children, the husband and the dog, I have opened a childcare centre. But is that how I identify myself if someone asks? No, I’m still a teacher by trade. Why don’t I say I’m a mum first? It’s where my priority is and most of my time. Surely it’s worthy of being my occupation? Or do I fear being labelled ‘just a mum’. (And we all know that it’s so incredibly much more than that!) I’m coming to the realisation that perhaps life doesn’t fit into neat boxes and things just aren’t as clear cut as I would like. There are shades of grey and that’s ok. And the realisation that people who appear to have it all maybe don’t. And that’s ok too. My newest adventure in business has taught me that I don’t need to be confined to a particular role or job title. I love the stimulation of working and am not ashamed to admit that while loving my little people, I need the contact, the conversation, the healthy debate. While still loving teaching, I am now more open to what the universe has in store for me…Little by little, I guess I eek out a little more of the person I am becoming and would like to become – now, more than ever, I realise that you never really stop growing.

    Loving the blog xx

    Posted by Pru Howard | September 29, 2010, 9:16 am
    • Thanks heaps Pru. So so true when you say is it the fear of being labelled just a mum. Our roles are so important yet why are they not given the importance of those who have “proper” careers. We (and the stay at home dads) are playing an important part in developing those who will be taking us forward into the future. Thank you for your contribution. Really important points -xx-

      Posted by 3precocious3lotus3 | September 29, 2010, 9:51 pm
  4. “Some days I even find it hard to distinguish between what is my personality and what is the “psychologist” they have merged that much.”
    I relate to this. Once you know, you know.

    Posted by Frances Jones | November 2, 2010, 12:59 pm

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