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Change, Identity, New Beginnings, Psychology

Twisting and turning your feelings are burning….

The other day I put one of my all time favourite cd’s on in the car and put it up very loud! What struck me though is no, not that it was loud as give me singing at the top of my lungs any day to release some stress. It was the fact that I picked this cd.  It sits in the car just in case but I don’t think its been put on rotation for a few years, yet the album has been playing over and over in the last week. Interestingly, as usual “a sign” popped up and the same band featured on the radio 2 days later, why was it a sign – 1. I don’t normally listen to that radio station and 2. I was only in the car for 5 minutes that day and a song from that album was played within the space of a minute of getting into the car.

So what does it all mean.  It came to me that I was in some ways regressing. No not in a bad way by dropping to the floor and throwing a 2-year-old tantrum. I was regressing back to 15 years old.  When all the feelings about change, identity and my place in the world were paramount and the only thing that saved me or made me feel safe was music and this album a lot of the time.  I then thought back to some of the other behaviours and habits that I had at the time – the food I ate, the company I kept, the activities I completed.

It then washed over me – I was feeling some of those same feelings now and to help myself to cope and feel safe I returned to the same mechanisms that worked back then.  This was not a conscious decision. This is imprinted on and in my cells – as the book by Babette Rothschild is so aptly titled “The Body Remembers”.

Cue light bulb.

Yes I know I’m a psychologist and I know all of this theoretically but actually working through these types of moments and associations personally is a whole different experience.  It made me aware that my 15-year-old self is my point of reference for coping. Particularly in times of change. Moving forward or changing direction and probably the difficulty in doing so. It’s not necessarily in times of high stress – that’s for another blog post =)

This has been somewhat of a revelation that something so simple as an album from my favourite band can be the calming influence in the choppy ocean of change. Does it or is it working – well I’m not too sure but what I do know is that it makes me feel a whole lot better when I listen to it. It is being my security blanket as the thoughts and feelings come up and its most likely reassuring my cells that you have done this before you can do it again.

So has this made you think about anything you regress back to?  Is there a period in your life where factors or items are dredged back up to help you cope in the present? What album or band helps you get through it all each time that road block pops up?

God help The Golden Age Club (That’s for you Grandma C) when the walls are reverberating with the sounds of Sir Psycho Sexy.


About Bringing Spirit Into The Everyday

Modern Suburban Hippie (minus hallucinogens :) ) Vegetarian. Passionate. Love Laughs. Yoga. Chai Lattes. Crystals. Oracle cards. Goddesses. Angels. Spiritual. Perfume Loving. Intuitive Parenting. Breastfeeding Mama. Sport Loving. Opinionated. Scorpio. Psychologist. I have 3 little people who rock my world.


14 thoughts on “Twisting and turning your feelings are burning….

  1. Hi, I found you through the #twittercup 🙂 Just been reading through your posts and love your blog.

    This post really resonated with me because we’ve got a bit of stress at the moment and I found myself listening to Motley Crue today, something I’ve not done in an age. And in the last 7 days I’ve baked, two different kinds of scones, pumpkin pie, 3 cakes, 2 different types of biscuits and made up another two types of no-cook biscuits. Not all of which I can blame on the ‘bring a plate’ requirements of school. I bake when stressed.

    Ah well at least the freezer is getting filled with goodies to share at Christmas time and I’m sure a little Motley Crue is helping make the baked goodies extra tasty.

    Posted by leechbabe | November 4, 2010, 7:53 pm
    • Thank you. Means alot that you stopped by. Gotta love twitter =) your household is very lucky for your baking! Not good that its stress that triggers it. I have this saying whenever me or someone is conscious about cooking or making something you can taste that its made with love. wonder what Motley Crue tastes like =)

      Posted by 3precocious3lotus3 | November 5, 2010, 12:41 am
  2. Cant live with out Pearl JAm and Red HOt Cilli Peppers. Always makes me feel good x

    Posted by Chelsea Corcoran | November 4, 2010, 8:48 pm
  3. Hmmm. Not sure that there’s a roadblock-killing regression period for me. All I know is that turning up any music and singing your heart out makes pretty much anything feel and look better.

    Posted by lifeinapinkfibro | November 4, 2010, 9:46 pm
  4. Interesting.
    I’ve always associated music with different chapters in my life. That’s why I love my iPod – I can easily flick to whatever I fancy at any particular time, whatever my mood. However I’ve never made the connection with songs and coping mechanisms. You have me pondering.
    My recent regressions have involved my “radio listening habits” as a teenager. Sitting in my room late at night with my cassette/radio and listening to the wonderful voice of Peter Grace (3XY and then eon.fm which became Triple M). I even googled him recently to see if he was still on radio. He is. But why am I recalling this? Perhaps I am yearning for my younger self? If only I knew then what I know now?
    Oh the things I would whisper into my ear………
    Thanks for another wonderful piece.

    Posted by Christine | November 5, 2010, 8:30 am
  5. Timely for me too, perhaps the nostalgia has something to do with our birthdays? This week has found me alone for the first time in ages MrPt away for work and Ms11 off a school camp. After hearing one of the old tunes randomly somewhere I dug out some of my old cd’s last night & added them to my ipod. The Cranberries 1st album resonates so deeply for me as does the 1st Whitlams album & the entire back catalog of The Simpletons (nrthn NSW indie band) yesterday I turned them up and danced and sang and I loved it. I didn’t realise that i needed these songs back in my life and even though The Cranberries are from one of the worst points in my life, they all remind me of some of my happiest days, you are sub-consciously bringing you back to that point for a reason, stay awhile and figure it out.. 🙂 xxpt

    Posted by ptmaree | November 5, 2010, 1:53 pm
  6. I remember being 15 and sharing an ear piece with you from your Walkman that played the album you talk about. We fell asleep in the car listening to Anthony’s crooning, coming home after one of the best holidays of my adolescent years. Thank-you for bringing back those memories.

    Posted by Jade | November 8, 2010, 9:12 am


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