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Identity, Mothering, Parenting

When do you know you’re a Mum?

Today I have a guest writer for precocious lotus – Mama R.  Mama R has written a piece below about the time you see yourself as a mother.

I know personally for my first pregnancy it was difficult to identify with the “typical role” of mother. I had trouble enough looking after myself let alone thinking about how I was going to care for a little person.  Three little people later and yes I identify with being a mum =) (It didnt take that long thankfully).

So Mama R writes:

As I progress through my second pregnancy, I am struck by the question “When did I know I was a Mum?” Was it the positive pregnancy test, the first ultra sound or hearing the baby’s heart beat? Was it the first time I felt the baby kick or when I first held her? Was it when she first really seemed to see me or when she said Mum? Was it the first time she ran to the door to give me a hug after I’d been at work? These are all times that I have felt an overwhelming sensation of being a mother. But through this pregnancy, I have also been struck by the small things that make me a Mum.

I know I’m a Mum when I walk out of the house with a food print on my pants/shirt. I know I’m a Mum when buying a massive tub of Nappy San doesn’t seem extreme. I know I’m a Mum when sharing sucked soggy food is no longer gross. I know I’m a Mum when I can’t see my lounge room floor because of all the toys. I know I’m a Mum when I’m interested in wees and poos. I know I’m a Mum when I commentate on everything I do. I know I’m a Mum when going to work sometimes feels like an easier day. I know I’m a Mum when jumping on the bed and playing in the sheets seems more important than making the bed. I know I’m a Mum when at the end of the day, it’s quiet and I feel exhausted but totally fulfilled. I know I’m a Mum when I have had a flat out day but can’t actually pinpoint where all the time went. I know I’m a Mum when I look into my little girl’s eyes and can’t imagine life without her. I know I’m a Mum when I take her to see an ultra sound and tell her she’s going to be a big sister.

So I ask you to have a think about finishing the sentence

“I know I’m a Mum (or Dad) when…”

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About Bringing Spirit Into The Everyday

Modern Suburban Hippie (minus hallucinogens :) ) Vegetarian. Passionate. Love Laughs. Yoga. Chai Lattes. Crystals. Oracle cards. Goddesses. Angels. Spiritual. Perfume Loving. Intuitive Parenting. Breastfeeding Mama. Sport Loving. Opinionated. Scorpio. Psychologist. I have 3 little people who rock my world.

Discussion

12 thoughts on “When do you know you’re a Mum?

  1. There was two significant instances with my first child initially that “I knew I was a mum”.

    The first was upon bambino being placed upon my chest after being birthed. I was in awe and the first words that unbelievably came out of my mouth were “He’s mine…Oh my god..He is mine”. Our soul’s cords were well and truly connected or re-connected whichever way you want to look at it.

    The second event was taking him to the car from the hospital, placing him in his car seat and travelling on the short distance home. Walking through the door with him in my arms I knew then that I was definitely a mum. I was responsible for him. Who was going to look after him if I didnt? No one. The heaviness of that responsibility was indescrible but the overwhelming outpouring of feelings for him blew that feeling away. Other incidents have emerged as the years and little people have arrived but the said experiences were etched in my memory.

    Posted by 3precocious3lotus3 | November 17, 2010, 11:59 pm
  2. I know I’m a mum when I can sense things about my daughter before they happen. When she is about to wake or sneak up behind me, about to fall and about to laugh.

    I giggled reading this post because when I wasn’t even pregnant I witnessed a mum wiping bits of chewed up food off of her child’s face while feeding her and licking it off her own fingers. I was so grossed out and swore I would never be that kind of mum. I had my daughter and proceeded to do it almost daily. Gross, but so ‘Mum’.

    Posted by Jade | November 18, 2010, 12:06 am
  3. A wonderful quote by Tenneva Jordan – “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”
    Being a mum kicks in the moment you realise another human is more important than yourself. Whether the child is biological or not, those same feelings exist.
    Your words ring true for all mums, Mama R. Thank you for sharing.
    Another quote (sorry, do love my quotes) by Sophia Loren – “When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.” So true.

    Posted by Christine | November 18, 2010, 10:57 am
  4. Being a separated parent, I never forget that I’m a dad of course, but I catch myself not being as responsible as I should sometimes & have to pull myself into line.
    Then it all comes rushing back during moments such as the other week when I took her to the beach & for ice cream; just me & her. We were in the ice cream parlour when she jumped off her seat, climbed into my lap, planted a big one on me then just sat there & gave me a long, tight hug.

    Posted by Troy | November 18, 2010, 12:16 pm
  5. Great piece.
    Smiled as I read and identified with your beautiful piece.
    I know I’m a Mum when … I can leave whatever I was doing to instead play with my children.
    I know I’m a Mum when … I wake to little people on (or in) my bed at all hours of the night or morning.
    I know I’m a Mum when … I am faced with a tantrum in the supermarket! Deep breath!
    I know I’m a Mum when my children are asleep and I sit on the couch amongst toys, clothes and general chaos to enjoy my glass of wine.
    And it is all so worthwhile.

    Posted by E! | November 18, 2010, 12:56 pm
  6. When I held my daughter for the first time.

    The first time my child threw up and I automatically put out my hands to catch it. (why why why??)

    Posted by leechbabe | November 18, 2010, 8:26 pm
  7. I know I’m a mum when it’s more tempting to spend gift vouchers intended for me on my children instead.

    I know I’m a mum when I leave the house knowingly covered in baby spew but don’t bother to change…if I did bother I’d be changing 5 times a day!

    I know I’m a mum when I’m always awake before the little footsteps come running down the hall in the middle of the night.

    I knew I was a mum when I became a translator between my two year old son and everyone else.

    I knew I was a mum when I looked into the face of my second born child when he was only seconds old and knew that I needed to experience that miracle again at least one more time

    I know I’m a mum when just one more kiss is never enough xx

    Posted by Kristy | November 18, 2010, 9:06 pm
  8. Thanks for sharing that! I smiled a lot whilst reading your piece. I’ve also read other people’s comments and saw myself smiling and nodding. I may be repeating some things here…
    – I knew I was a mum when I first saw that (very longed for) positive pregnancy test. All the things you can’t eat or drink to protect the tiny, tiny life growing inside of you.
    – I knew I was a mum when I couldn’t wait to have a big tummy!
    – I knew I was a mum when I held Dear Son (DS) for the first time and felt the most overwhelming “gush” of love and protection like nothing else I’ve ever felt before.
    – I knew I was a mum when I looked at my forever changed body in the mirror and knew it was for the best cause in the world.
    – I knew I was a mum when a very small and young DS was crying and as soon as he was in my arms the crying stopped.
    – I knew I was a mum when I filled out the consent forms in the hospital for DS to have immunisations. I was totally and utterly responsible for this little being (and his Daddy of course!)
    – I knew I was a mum when I caught vomit in my hands.
    – I knew I was a mum when DS was sick and I was inspecting poos pretty closely.
    – I knew I was a mum when I left DS for the first time since he was born and I missed him before I kissed him goodbye.
    – I know I’m a mum when I automatically head straight for the baby section at Target.
    – I know I’m a mum when I know just why DS is crying.
    – I know I’m a mum when I ask other mums for advice.
    – I know I’m a mum when someone asks me, “So what’s new?” to which I reply something along the lines of, “DS has another tooth and can says ‘ish’ for ‘fish’.”
    – I know I’m a mum when I wake before DS just before he cries. And that I wake even when he doesn’t cry to check on him.
    -I know I’m a mum because I drive so much more carefully than before.
    – I know I’m a mum when DS is sad and noone else will do.
    – I know I’m a mum when I get the biggest smiles that totally melt my heart every time.
    – I know I’m a mum when DS gets sick and it breaks my heart.
    – I know I’m a mum because I would do anything to protect my son.
    – I know I’m a mum when I can carry in 2 arms which would be considered humanly impossible to anyone who’s not a mum.

    Wow I could go on for ages. Thanks for this, I’ve enjoyed the reflection xx

    Posted by Mum2CJ | November 19, 2010, 9:50 am
  9. I had my first baby at 24. Relatively young by todays standards and to be honest, not really finished with partying completely. I knew I was a Mum, I guess when I no longer cared I was missing out on that stuff and wanted to be home with her more than be out. Which was about 2 minutes after bringing her home. Great post x

    Posted by Bern Morley | November 19, 2010, 10:48 am
  10. I know I am a Mum, because when I read this gorgeous blog post, and the comments underneath it, I have tears in my eyes ..

    Posted by Erica | November 30, 2010, 9:22 pm
  11. Thanks for your comments everyone. They are all absolutely beautiful and have brought tears to my eyes. I use to feel frustrated when women would say to me “you’ll know / understand it when you’re a Mum!” as if there was this whole hidden world and understanding to which I could never be completely privy unless I joined the motherhood group. Evidently, each and every one of them was right. You can’t possible know these things completely until you are a Mum and even then you just keep learning.
    Thanks for reading guys! Much appreciated 🙂

    Posted by Mama R | December 2, 2010, 7:43 am

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