For the last week I have been continuously exposed to the issue that others have experienced a sense of not being “up to standard” from other people or not comparable to “the norm” but in discussion with these people it was quite clear that it wasnt the person who was feeling this way about the issue but in fact the person who suggested there was a problem or difference of opinion.
It made me realise “whose rules are they anyway?” Society is quick to formulate and set out a standard and book of rules that it feels all must abide by. If not, well they mustn’t be “normal”.
Now there have been countless discussion surrounding what “normal” actually is. But this is the point of my post. We could argue, agree or disagree till as they say the cows come home. But being no country girl here I don’t wait for that. and importantly I will not adhere to that practice.
What has been irking me is that just because the majority of people have that belief system about birth, pregnancy, relationships, schooling or work doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the 100% correct, fail proof way to attend to issues. Some of the current thoughts on pregnancy and birth scare me. So medicalised and the true power and strength of the birthing mother has been suppressed to make others feel safe with the whole process. When a mother does surrender to her own birth experience and allow whatever needs to happen happen, at times she is questioned as to whether she is doing the right thing for the baby and herself. What clouds this experience is not necessarily the potential risks but rather the “outsiders” perspective with their own anxiety and feelings of lack of control.
In other situations if a couple isnt acting the way “normal” couples should act. I’m not talking about anything to do with violence, abuse etc.. but just simple ways of being independent people within the dynamic of a couple relationship then people ask questions. It’s not the couple who have the issue. It’s the person expressing their own concern and projecting it upon the couple who are happy and content within and without each others company.
The same issues as I said can appear when opinions of schooling, parenting or work practices may deviate slightly. As we are aware people feel threatened when it’s not their norm but also most of the time not “normal” by the majority of their peers or the population.
This post is bringing up similar themes to that of the mirroring and projection blog post I spoke of last week. The difference I want to highlight is the impact that this projection has upon those that the issue is connected to.
It takes a strong and reflective person to be able to pull apart within the situation that is unfolding that it is not about them but about the person with the flying accusations or anxieties that are permeating the circumstances.
It is about that same strong and reflective person being able to stop. check in with their own thoughts. check in with their own belief system and then protect themselves with the imaginary force field to deflect unwanted interference.
Yes in some cases it’s not necessary to enter into so much navel gazing but if you find yourself excessively bothered or replaying an event, then odds on you are uncomfortable because your mind is playing by their rules and not your own.
Personally, I say listen to that little voice that is trying to send you your true essences beliefs. Our body and mind react when we go too many times against the true vibration of our essences and spirit. Which you would have seen touched upon here.
Enough of other people’s rules. As I always say look within for your own rules. They are listed right there inside of you. All you have to do is look, ask for them and be still to listen for the answer. Why would you want to go by someone elses rules?
Have you had any situations you want to share that you realised you were playing by someone elses rules. What made you realise? Why was that person placing their rules upon you? Have you been one of those to try and place your own rules on someone else. What was triggering this off?