Mmm I really couldn’t stand her by the end. She made my life hell. I was not only psychologically affected but medically compromised as well. I could go on but really I don’t want the energy affecting my blog.
There was another person…I thought I had grown a bit, matured a bit and coped with difficulties better. She got me angry, irritated and really pressed my integrity button. But again I’m not going to go into specifics.
The other week whilst attending my soul food weekend I was speaking to another one of the volunteers. We got talking about courses I had completed, mainly in the “new age, metaphysical” arena. One of the courses we spoke of she was keen to complete. She spoke of knowing another person holding the classes I was qualified to teach and was planning to undertake the teaching course too.
I found the course amazing. Life changing. Full of many a-ha moments as the cliche` goes but honestly there was true, honest and raw reflections and I came back a better person having completed the course. The course was not the problem. The facilitator was not the problem either at that point in time. The issues started to occur when the months unfolded.
I deviated, having this conversation really had me thinking and it was as though I was out of my body watching myself have the conversation with the other person. I could see the words coming out of my mouth, I could even feel myself attempting to limit the information I provided but still get my point across about my experience of the situation.
I really felt like I was standing balancing on a see-saw in the middle, gently trying to keep my grip on maintaining the balance with a leg on either side of the ramp.
Honesty is important to me, Integrity is important to me, and standing up for my truth and not with-holding information is in every grain of my being. Basically I have to bite my tongue to stop it from speaking words sometimes =) (joking! that doesn’t even work)
Early on I would have had no hesitation whatsoever in speaking my mind and saying exactly what I thought about the situation and how the situation and that person affected me and my life. But this time was different. I’m actually starting to be very mindful of my spoken word. I’ve had it in one other earlier instance too. Although that time I said my piece but then added “but your experience may be different”. This time I’m not into bad mouthing people anymore. It just doesn’t sit right no matter what the experience I have had. That’s my experience and what right do I have to taint that persons view before they have had their own experience.
So I was presented with to-ing and fro-ing in this dilemma all the while the conversation continued – yes my brain was on the verge of exploding!
I still don’t know what the best way to approach this type of situation is.
Have you had it happen before? What did you do? Do you have to tell someone else about the person or your experience or do you keep it quiet?
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