Some days I seriously wonder what I’m doing with three little people. I know I was pregnant with them and gave birth to them and looked after their every need emotionally and physically – feeding, bathing, clothing and ensuring they had sleep. I look at them as they get older and think, really are they mine?
There are some days I truly wonder if I am an adult. I could slip quite easily back into the teenage years.
I sometimes think to myself, when is this adult switch going to turn on. Do you feel any different? Is there a certain age that you think to yourself ‘Yes I well and truly am an adult now’.
It’s not even being put in a situation of feeling like a child. I don’t get treated in this way I just don’t feel like an adult adult. It’s not the adult when you leave school that’s a different adult. I can be that one I think.
I’m inconsistent with the forms from school and kinder, I continue to rebel with school uniform requirements to a small degree, I whinge in my mind, (not a loud of course as they will catch on) about having to eat veggies every night for dinner, I do the school drop offs and pick ups, parent teacher interviews, medical appointments etc etc.. but yet I still feel like a kid sometimes, like I’m pretending.
I try really hard to be formal, mature and organised. But I love to wing it, love to kick back and I’m happy having fun with my little people. Dont get me wrong it’s not all tea parties and park visits, I set the rules and boundaries as I know I have to. I know if I don’t set them nobody else will.
I’m truly starting to understand the phrase. The body ages but the mind stays the same. I can’t imagine myself as an 80-year-old yet I can imagine I would still giggle at the most stupid jokes. I can’t imagine thinking to do an action yet my body is incapable of doing so. Or having to choose more appropriate shoes and clothing for my age as it’s just not suitable to be fashioned in this way. I know it’s about society’s rules and conforming but how many 80 year olds have you seen walking around with killer heels or singlet tops and jeans. Or cons and some cargo shorts with a captioned emblazoned tee.
I don’t necessarily think I am immature but rather young at heart and I can’t see the adult switch to turn it on. Do I have to?
I’m off to school this morning to do another parent helper stint. Im fairly good at acting I think 😉
So has your switch flicked on? At what point did it flick on? Am I just slow to catch on?