you're reading...
Adult psychology, Behaviour, Friendship, Life, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Pondering, Psychology, Relationships, Self

It’s Not Personal….

Interesting. Today I have had many reflections. I typed up one blog post and its in the drafts folder. It just didn’t feel right to press publish. Though as usually happens I draw a card. Sit with it if it doesn’t make real clear sense, basically read doesn’t say what I want it to say then the reflection happens oh and at the same time the right blog post comes forward. Thank you universe.

This post below is from my old blog Ostara Health. The issue and reflection is still relevant. I only added on changed a couple of sentences. For the situation I blogged about (which is now in the draft folder) it could have been seen multiple ways. This is the way Im choosing to look at the current thoughts I had today and how I am compartmentalising it in my mind.


I think most of us when some type of issue, conflict, problem and even apparent rejection arises, it is taken on board as personal. That the person has done whatever the instance is on purpose with intent to harm and hurt us.

I think the relevation that is of importance is that it is only ever personal and of harm and hurt if you/I make it personal.

If we were to step back from whatever the incident is that has occurred – it can be clearly seen that the person this relates to has their own issues and reasons as to why they have reacted this way to you and has their own circumstances they are dealing with, this accounts for their behaviour to us which may have most likely been taken personally.

If we truly believe that it IS personal and an attack upon our character and we can see no other way- then I ask that you still step back but then look at yourself….The issue is only personal again because you’ve made it, but that you are still not able to shake it and shift it means that it has pressed a nerve. Thats ok – but its still not a personal attack from someone else (unless they are that nasty). We now need to take responsibility that it is our sensitivity and the issue that we need to work on ourselves. We would not have felt attacked if we werent already feeling vulnerable about the issue – it would have held no relevance and rolled off our back.

I am not at all excusing bad behaviour such as shouting, swearing, acting badly but the content that is involved is the essence of this discussion. In addition, I also think that if it is a regular occurence from the one person and you are the recipient often then enough is enough and their behaviour needs to be addressed as they are using you as their target (There are many psychological terms that could be used here, I am keeping it simple).

You can only ever control your reaction to a situation. Its a choice as to whether it is positive or negative and a choice as to whether to take it personally or at least learn from the encounter.


Today I was again reminded of this concept. Interestingly I have, since writing this post mellowed and have more compassion toward the person/people involved in these types of scenarios with me. That may be another post brewing…..

Always evolving. Forever learning.


About Bringing Spirit Into The Everyday

Modern Suburban Hippie (minus hallucinogens :) ) Vegetarian. Passionate. Love Laughs. Yoga. Chai Lattes. Crystals. Oracle cards. Goddesses. Angels. Spiritual. Perfume Loving. Intuitive Parenting. Breastfeeding Mama. Sport Loving. Opinionated. Scorpio. Psychologist. I have 3 little people who rock my world.


2 thoughts on “It’s Not Personal….

  1. I get what you mean, Its what the situation means to you at the time is how you react, your reaction is the catalyst for what comes next. Some call it destiny others say “S*** happens” BUT its our view in the end. Even if you view a slap across the face as good, that’s what it will mean for your own personal psychology. In a way that kind of delusion is a superb ally, in that the worst could happen and you would be fine.

    Posted by darkbiggie | May 17, 2012, 11:47 pm


  1. Pingback: Self care Strategy #2 « Bringing Spirit Into The Everyday - October 2, 2012

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Moon Cycle

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

%d bloggers like this: