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Adult psychology, Behaviour, Chakras, Change, Everyday Psychology, Identity, Influence, Life, Love, Mindfulness, Psychology, Self, Spirituality, Strategies

There’s loving yourself and loving yourself

I Love Me Written inside a Heart Drawn in Sand

This is a post that has been a long time coming. I promised it to someone awhile ago. It’s here!!!
It’s very difficult to be clear about what loving yourself really is. I think sometimes the essence and definition has been hijacked by the beauty and spa industry where it correlates pampering and self care with self love. Loving yourself by treating yourself well is different to LOVING yourself. Dont get me wrong uh-huh Im not going to knock back spa treatments or gift vouchers EVER but having a day of enjoyment and feeling good because someone is treating me well and hitting the pleasure endorphins doesnt mean Im loving myself truly.

Now Im not about to get all preachy but I have had more than one discussion about this with people and when I was a conducting Heal Your Life Workshops this theme was a major aspect to be a revelation in their work for the seminar. Not to mention the number of people I have seen during therapy sessions with this being a basis for many of their issues, in some ways the beginning of the waterfall where other concerns cascade. So why not just go to a day spa and get a facial, book in for a massage, go to lunch with friends, enjoy a movie with your beloved? I could go on, you get the picture. Yes this is pleasurable and yes people “love” to do it, it feels good. Yes it can be what I like to term soul food. It nourishes and fills your cup. We all need this component in our lives but love of self cannot be measured by feel good moments.

Self love is about loving all of ourselves. Warts and all. Its about acceptance, reflection, forgiveness, healing, change and relationships. Its about regularly digging in the soil of our psyche, cultivating, fertilizing and nourishing it for our souls to grow. I dont know about you but I know by the end of my life time I want to have been the best person I can be. Not through the measurement of the ego but from the impact, the service and through ultimately the space of love for others but also within. If we want to go the layer deeper self love is about a universal love. That we are all one and that we are all connected therefore loving ourselves not only affects our own personal energy but uplifts the universal consciousness and grid work and that we are all affected positively by this connection to our divine selves, our I Am presence or put simply our true self.

You know how you see in movies (I’m unsure of current protocols or displays) whereby someone places their hand over their heart and pledges, promises or speaks from the heart? I want you to do this now. This will physically, psychologically and spiritually connect you to your true essence and energy. I’m of the belief that if you do something physically as well as the usual visual/brain pathway it assists in ensuring the information is acquired not only on a theoretical and thought level but through a physical cellular level which enhances the shift.

* Place your hand over your heart chakra or heart.
* Breathe in deeply and exhale, doing this a few times to slow you down.
* Centre yourself and focus on that calmness within as your hand is still placed over your heart.
* After a few moments, listen to your quiet mind
*Now speak your truth. Don’t hesitate. Speak the words you want to say :
I love myself when…….

What were your words? They can be simple and basic or in depth and thorough. Some examples are below that you can add to your list if they resonate with you:
~ I have actions and words that speak with integrity to my inner most truth
~ I commit to an activity or cause that I am passionate about and it fills my soul
~ I wear what I want to wear and do so because I love all of me. This is what makes me feel good. It reflects my insides to my outsides.
~ I stand up for what I believe in
~ I look in the mirror and do not criticize myself yet accept the body I have been blessed with that is the vessel for my soul in this lifetime.
~ I feed my body with food for fuel, nutrition and nourishment
~ I do not speak to myself in a negative or derogatory way
~ I do not pass judgement on myself if I do have negative self talk
There are so many that you can think of. This is only a start.

Loving yourself does not mean you can not love someone else. It means you can love them more. I work on the philosophy the more we have in our own cup the more there is to give to others. Self love is the building block for love of others. It is not an either or situation, nor is it a fractional measurement. i.e if I love someone else 70% then I can only love myself 30%. Or for some, I have a husband or partner and I have 4 children. Making that equal we all get 20% of my love. Ah no. The more we give to ourselves and others the more there is! Abundance thinking. When you do love someone else it’s a positive relationship when they support your self love, they support you in enhancing your life journey to do your soul work or work that you are passionate about, it does not feel like you are compromising who you are when you are in a relationship with this person. Supporting them means just as much as achieving your own goals but yet you still feel you have yourself as a priority and therefore the self love is not sacrificed.

Below are a few Self love routines and rituals that you may find beneficial introducing into your life so that you are more mindful and conscious of your practice to love yourself more and deeper:
* I love myself in the mirror every morning and night. Say it a loud and look yourself in the eyes. It’s more difficult than we think. Put your hand over your heart, centre yourself and say it again a few times.
* Do not compromise your inner self. This isn’t about decisions about the everyday or about your ego. It’s about the truth that you can not go against without feeling any twinge of resentment. That is compromising ones inner self.
* connect with your spirit and nourish yourself with mind, body and soul exercises: reading enriching words, participating in daily exercise that enhances your wellbeing but also strengthens your body that carries the soul you are enhancing, listening to music that fills your heart or resonates to fill you up, spend time with people who make your heart sing.
* most of all congratulate and praise yourself in your growth, shifts and changes you make, acknowledging the flow and cycles of life, give yourself a huge pat on the back for moving with those peaks and valleys.
* remind yourself of the everyday commitment you need to give to yourself. That one day without focusing on yourself for a small amount of time limits you filling your cup back up.
* telling someone when they have encroached on your space or your boundaries
* taking steps to ensure you are not over stretching yourself with any part of your life. There is a difference between over stretching and commitment to a task. The later is time limited. The first will be detrimental in your ongoing task to self love.

Self love and accepting ourselves though does not mean to let ones self go and be indulgent. It means to acknowledge that we are ever evolving and learning yet not to criticize ourselves when we are doing so. Its about having healthy self talk, self confidence and digging deep believing we really are a good person. As the saying goes “you would never speak to your friends the way you speak to yourself sometimes”. You are also not egotistical if you do have a high level of self love. There is a difference between rudeness, arrogance and expectation compared to confidence and humility.

I’m not saying this shift happens overnight, good luck to you if you are able to! My journey to the heart (anahata) has only intensified in the last few years! So many facets and layers that are unravelling. I have so much more awareness and self love to develop but Im hoping this 101 helps bring some clarity to your own self love connection.

Always evolving, forever learning.



About Bringing Spirit Into The Everyday

Modern Suburban Hippie (minus hallucinogens :) ) Vegetarian. Passionate. Love Laughs. Yoga. Chai Lattes. Crystals. Oracle cards. Goddesses. Angels. Spiritual. Perfume Loving. Intuitive Parenting. Breastfeeding Mama. Sport Loving. Opinionated. Scorpio. Psychologist. I have 3 little people who rock my world.


One thought on “There’s loving yourself and loving yourself

  1. This is certainly the second blog, of urs I
    really read through. But I personally like this one,
    “Theres loving yourself and loving yourself Bringing Spirit Into The Everyday” the very best.
    Thank you -Aleisha

    Posted by http://yahoo.com | February 10, 2013, 9:03 pm

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