Yes, uhuh you are seeing right, that’s a blog post right here. =) I still need an outlet. I pondered just last week about letting this pocket or juggling ball in my life go and putting it down for a little while. Not closing my blog but not feeling like it was something I had to focus upon. I’m stepping up a notch with my business and specific focus in psychology and conception and therefore have to put down some of the balls I’m juggling. But that is for another post. In the meantime it’s important to write about this and this space provides a forum. Hallelujah. Interesting, as this thought brings me to my topic of discussion. I thought I was fairly good at expressing myself. Moments of difficulty but generally on the whole fairly effective. I’ve pulled this apart over recent months and realised there are some topics I’m very at ease discussing and expressing while others…mhmm I need to refine. Don’t we all. This idea has been bubbling away for awhile but in all honesty I’ve had enough. Yes I’m expressing about our expression.
The other week after the devastating loss of many lives on flight MH17 Wendy Harmer wrote an excellent piece regarding the outer limits of compassion in which she opened with “why does the world focus on this when people are dying in…. (Insert awful humanitarian crisis here)”. Although the article generally speaking, was about compassion fatigue and peoples judgements about expressing compassion, the opening statement reflects exactly the point what I’m speaking about here. Often on social media with Tweets or Facebook status updates people feel they have to add #firstworldproblem or justify their status by mentioning they identify they may be complaining or others have it worse. What this is doing is telling ourselves and other people for that fact that what we say isn’t as important. That unless you really have something to complain about then you shouldn’t be complaining. We’ve all heard that sentence before. But where do those feelings and emotions go? I’m sure they don’t just dissipate, dissolve into thin air. So they sit with us in our body. On a gnawing conscious level or subtle subconscious level. How is that helpful? Suppression has never helped anyone. An unexpressed feeling and emotions lead to experiences of anger, resentment and sadness to name a few.
We also get told you have to express yourself this way, don’t do that or say that, so many rules and regulations around emotions. Yes it’s important to express yourself and your emotions in a safe way and in a way that will not harm yourself or other people but people get so scared about doing the “right or wrong” thing that they just don’t say anything! Don’t want to be seen whinging or complaining or even being ungrateful or acting inappropriately.
I’m the first to admit I avoid my social media timelines often because I don’t want to see people negative and complaining BUT it does not make their feelings and experience any less valid. For me it is a protective mechanism so I don’t get affected by it all. It doesn’t mean that I am not concerned for peoples welfare. I think the important point here is the forum in which we do express ourselves. That maybe it isn’t the place to always do so on social media but definitely express yourself to your partners, relatives, friends and work colleagues – in person, via text message or phone call. Of course I’m not saying that Facebook or Twitter should be a highlight reel which further compounds the issue of unexpressed emotions and feelings but I think this is two completely different issues.
I worry that if we are not expressing our emotions that we are creating ill health and dis-ease. I worry that we are becoming emotionally disconnected in a world that thrives on connections. I worry that this impacts our relationships and deteriorates them. I worry that we will be passing on unhelpful patterns and behaviours to our children that will have far reaching consequences for their health, wellbeing and humanity.
Emotions and feelings are so important. Expression of these is imperative. Let us all allow people the space to express where they are at. Let us get back to open communication in person or via phone and stop using social media as a convenient defence mechanism and excuse for disconnection and suppression. Allow yourself the space to express what you need to but also hold space for those loved ones to express there’s. No judgement in sight. As the saying goes, be kind, we are all fighting a battle. Who are we to judge someone’s personal pain? You cannot compare emotions or experiences. Everyone has their own emotional fingerprint for experiences and coping. Not one fingerprint is the same. Do not compare.
Always Evolving, Forever Learning.